Friday, 31 August 2012

Festival Flu

He throws up profusely
From dawn until dusk
He is ill acutely
From alcohol and drugs
It's his own fault of course
But it had to be done
Whilst Festival may be
The Flu, isn't fun.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Cheesy Single

Cheesy single
On a plate
Is this wise?
Or a mistake
The texture's odd
The flavour's off.

A mallet on the pallet
And a doubt in the brain:
Why am I eating this cheese,

Whilst it may be the general consensus that cheesy singles (a.ka. slices of reconstituted cheese) are a substandard format of cheese, the author, personally, has a lot of time for the runny orange delights.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Bedtime Hunger

Bedtime hunger's
On his mind
He dreams of meals
Tasty and sublime
But instead,
Before he rests his head
He'll eat Tesco Everyday Value Bran flakes

Monday, 6 August 2012

Free Fish

He wakes up early
To get free fish
The sort that swim
Not served in a dish
The end prize is weighed
Against the price to be paid
That is in this case
A much longer day
For he wakes up early
To get free fish.

Clearly the author of the vers is an enthusiastic over the abstract concept of 'free fish' in what can only be interpreted as a graceful stand against the clanky contemporary Capitalism of the western world. The poem speaks of a time when there may be 'no such thing as a free lunch,' but the concept of 'free fish' is never to be overlooked.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

Drinking Game

They drink what's left
But, alas, in vain
The alcohol's sparse
And the taste is a pain
Shot glasses are egg cups
And the tables a stool
When the alcohol's gone
They'll be left looking like fools.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Morning Hunger

Wakes up hungry
But the effort to move
Is more than he can ever
Be bothered to prove
A saucepan in the fridge
He could eat it is true
But then he remembers
That he'd still have to chew.