Hayden Pennyfeather
Floyd Mayweather
Hayden Pennyfarthing
Hayden beg your pardon
Hayden penny for your thoughts
Floyd may the force be with you
Hayden find a penny pick it up
Hayden and all day you'll have good
Pennyfeather.
Where only the most pretentious verse is found.
Hayden Pennyfeather
Floyd Mayweather
Hayden Pennyfarthing
Hayden beg your pardon
Hayden penny for your thoughts
Floyd may the force be with you
Hayden find a penny pick it up
Hayden and all day you'll have good
Pennyfeather.
He, The Sun observed
Did vilipend
The hot, pregnant
Rays
of Summer;
Came to early,
left,
too late.
Fucking wasps.
5.5 litres
Plus coffees and teas
And now it's a Fosters
But he's only peed
4, maybe 5 times
To his recollection
How is his body capable
Of such liquid collection?
His schedule
A mess
He trys his very
Best
To leave the house. But
Despite his best efforts
He'a incapable of leaving
And finds himself stuck
At Lords.
Forget the toast
It's beans on roast
Beans on pasta
Beans, the most
Universal haricot
Open the can:
They're good to go.
Corbyn's supper,
Bazza's lunch
But eat them for both
And you'll regret that munch
The writer's seemingly harmless obsession with beans likely hides a darker, more menacing addiction to harder substance abuse, ad we can infer from the word 'haricot' - most likely cockney rhyming slang for blow, or cocaine.
This interpretation is supported further by the lexical choice of 'munch' - surely referencing the famous 'munchies' that accompany the ingestion of marijuana.